Posts Tagged ‘Family’

FINALLY DONE!!!!!

Posted: September 12, 2012 in My Queer Life
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I did it, I did it!!! I’m finally done with High School as of today! I’m so happy. Now I get to go look for a job. And it’s finally cooled down here in Minneapolis. Yesterday, the high was 95…. It was ridiculous. But now, the high is only 65 which means it’s finally my favorite time of year… FALL!

Also, I have been feeling very old as of late. My 14 year old sister started high school, and, not 5 days into the year, she was asked by 5 boys to go to home coming…. That and my youngest brother started junior high. SO OLD…

Any way, wishing you all a wonderful fall and school year.

One thing straight

Posted: June 27, 2012 in My Queer Life
Tags: , ,

I just want to make sure that I’m not just dissing my parents. I love my parents and I know they love me too. They just have certain standards that they’ve had for me my whole life and they have old ways of seeing things.

Aside from my calming down process that I decided to take, I’ve got kittens!!! Well…. a kitten, the other one is my sister’s. They are so cute, but they’re the noisiest things ever. Especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. An who’s room do you think they sleep in?

(After a couple minutes of searching) I still can’t find them so I’ll post pictures later.

Hi all. I made it after all. I am a high school graduate…. almost. I still have to go to summer school, but I still got to walk across the stage. Aside from my having to go to school during the summer in my schools freezing cold building, my summer life has been pretty pleasant. Even at home. I had to go to a wedding the other day in a dress, but my mom let me wear pants to the reception afterwards. That and I got to hang out with my cousin who’s also bi. We got to talk and dance.

Other than that, I off to Missouri for a couple of days to see some more cousins who I haven’t seen since I was 11. That seems like too long ago. I’m going with my oldest younger sister and my grandparents (who I still haven’t told). I have a feeling that it’s going to be awkward.

Till next time and hope you all have a great summer!

Well, it’s gotten better…..-ish?

Though, honestly, I think I would have preferred the silence on the matter to continue.

Since I came out, my mom has threatened to burn all my flannel shirts, all my baggy pants, and all my baseball hats. She won’t let me wear my hats anymore. She’s also taken it to a point where she’s criticizing my fashion. She says no one’s going to take me seriously. I told her it’s because I don’t have the resources I need to dress nice. This is the honest to God truth too. She comes back at me saying that I’m full of shit, that my grandma has tons of material (none of which is what I’m looking for) and so does she. It makes me just want to say, “Well mom, I’m trying to save money for the rest of the family, cause you’re poor as fuck and I’m poorer than fuck.” But I know that swearing at my mom’ll probably get me nowhere….. maybe less than nowhere… maybe a black eye.

Sorry, being a pessimist. Just wish my mom was, at least, a little more understanding.

To make up for my far than less ideal home life, school life has gotten better. Not that it was terrible to begin with. My cousins doing something that he won’t tell me what it is. I have to say, it makes me nervous. Though, he’s probably not telling me so that I have no responsibility for whatever happens. More of my teachers are actually using the right pronouns. Soon it’ll be to a point where the subs actually use the right pronouns (not gonna hold my breath though).

Well, that about sums up what’s happened so far. Till next time….

Well, apparently, everything has a downside.

When I went home yesterday, the talk my parents wanted to have with me was more of a “You are a girl, you are straight, why are you being so selfish” kind of talk. They spent three hours doing this. They threw out words like “abomination” and “stupid”. They’re convinced they know me better than I know myself.

My parents killed what ever amount of girl was left in me, so now I’m transgender.

I told them about how it all made me feel, about how it made me feel suicidal and about how I used to cut myself. I had felt really good yesterday until they started trying to convince me I was wrong. After that talk, I seriously thought about finding my safety pins again. They’re going to send me to therapy, for the depression, and for the “gender confusion” I’m going through. They said that my being bisexual and transgender was just me being full of shit, and that my cutting myself was cowardly when all it was was me trying to relieve some of the pressure I was feeling.

They also said that, if I tried to leave before I turn 18, they’ll call the cops and send me to juvi (they also said that if I didn’t listen to them they’d send me to juvi as well). I can’t even go to either of my cousins houses because my parents are sure I’m the way I am because of the people I hang out with and not because of how I feel. They said that it’s the devils influence on me. They also said I don’t know what it means to be this way. What would they know about how it feels to be in the wrong body?

At least I have friends to go to school with. Friends who love, support, and care for me. My cousin this morning took me away from the table and upstairs to ask me what was wrong. My friends have been making me feel a lot better, considering that this morning I was sobbing.

I can’t wait till I turn 18. Then I can leave and just be myself.

Anyway, hoping it gets better,

Alex

I’m out of that nasty little closet and I’m not going back in!

I told my mom last night. It all happened better than I thought it would, though I think I would have preferred yelling rather than being told that it’s just the devil influencing my mind.

She told my dad, but I don’t know what all she told him. What bites is that I have a feeling that they’re going to try and make me not go to after school stuff…..

Anyway, turns out there was no need to worry about being kicked out.

I wish I could tell my parents half of what I tell you guys.

Till next time,

Alex

Hey guys.

Last saturday was Prom. It was interesting, though, the entire day, my mom was asking me why I wasn’t going with a date. It was kind of irritating, but at the same time, heart breaking. Because the one I wanted to go with is a girl, and I don’t think that’d go over very well. The Prom itself was weird though. The only thing that anybody actually did was grind or make out…. well, most people did anyway. My group danced on the side or in the back…. that or sat out cause the music was crap.

Anyway, today’s the day. When I get home, I’m coming out to my parents. Though, I’ve decided to not use the letter and just tell them. I’ve been feeling more confident about it lately, so I don’t think I have to worry about breaking down. And I actually have a place to stay if worse comes to worst, thank God for supportive cousins.

Anyway, wish me luck.

Alex