Posts Tagged ‘High school’

FINALLY DONE!!!!!

Posted: September 12, 2012 in My Queer Life
Tags: , , , ,

I did it, I did it!!! I’m finally done with High School as of today! I’m so happy. Now I get to go look for a job. And it’s finally cooled down here in Minneapolis. Yesterday, the high was 95…. It was ridiculous. But now, the high is only 65 which means it’s finally my favorite time of year… FALL!

Also, I have been feeling very old as of late. My 14 year old sister started high school, and, not 5 days into the year, she was asked by 5 boys to go to home coming…. That and my youngest brother started junior high. SO OLD…

Any way, wishing you all a wonderful fall and school year.

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Hi all. I made it after all. I am a high school graduate…. almost. I still have to go to summer school, but I still got to walk across the stage. Aside from my having to go to school during the summer in my schools freezing cold building, my summer life has been pretty pleasant. Even at home. I had to go to a wedding the other day in a dress, but my mom let me wear pants to the reception afterwards. That and I got to hang out with my cousin who’s also bi. We got to talk and dance.

Other than that, I off to Missouri for a couple of days to see some more cousins who I haven’t seen since I was 11. That seems like too long ago. I’m going with my oldest younger sister and my grandparents (who I still haven’t told). I have a feeling that it’s going to be awkward.

Till next time and hope you all have a great summer!

Some how, I forgot to sign out of WordPress on the computer my family shares and my parents found it. Let’s just say that that went over like a lead balloon. They read a couple of them I guess and now I feel really crappy. They were never supposed to read this. It’s like a journal in a way. Parents aren’t supposed to end up knowing what’s written in their kids journals because most of the time it’s for blowing off steam. I don’t want them to feel like I hate them, but all trust is gone now.

Three more days of school. The sucky part is, I don’t think I’m going to be able to graduate. Which is really stupid. I have 71 credits when I only need 66 to graduate. It’s ridiculous when they make certain classes mandatory.

My parents found out that I bind. And who’s the one who says I can’t? My Mom? Actually, no. My dad is the one that freaks out this time and tells me I can’t wear my binder (my home made one) anymore. I didn’t listen to him of course, so when I wore it to school like I always do, he took it away. I am REALLY peeved. I just got it to a point where it worked well too.

At least they don’t know about the bandages I have in my locker at school. Though, I’m tired of only getting to bind at school again.

Anyway, next week is my last week left of being a high schooler! YAY!!

-Alex

Well, apparently, everything has a downside.

When I went home yesterday, the talk my parents wanted to have with me was more of a “You are a girl, you are straight, why are you being so selfish” kind of talk. They spent three hours doing this. They threw out words like “abomination” and “stupid”. They’re convinced they know me better than I know myself.

My parents killed what ever amount of girl was left in me, so now I’m transgender.

I told them about how it all made me feel, about how it made me feel suicidal and about how I used to cut myself. I had felt really good yesterday until they started trying to convince me I was wrong. After that talk, I seriously thought about finding my safety pins again. They’re going to send me to therapy, for the depression, and for the “gender confusion” I’m going through. They said that my being bisexual and transgender was just me being full of shit, and that my cutting myself was cowardly when all it was was me trying to relieve some of the pressure I was feeling.

They also said that, if I tried to leave before I turn 18, they’ll call the cops and send me to juvi (they also said that if I didn’t listen to them they’d send me to juvi as well). I can’t even go to either of my cousins houses because my parents are sure I’m the way I am because of the people I hang out with and not because of how I feel. They said that it’s the devils influence on me. They also said I don’t know what it means to be this way. What would they know about how it feels to be in the wrong body?

At least I have friends to go to school with. Friends who love, support, and care for me. My cousin this morning took me away from the table and upstairs to ask me what was wrong. My friends have been making me feel a lot better, considering that this morning I was sobbing.

I can’t wait till I turn 18. Then I can leave and just be myself.

Anyway, hoping it gets better,

Alex

Hey guys.

Last saturday was Prom. It was interesting, though, the entire day, my mom was asking me why I wasn’t going with a date. It was kind of irritating, but at the same time, heart breaking. Because the one I wanted to go with is a girl, and I don’t think that’d go over very well. The Prom itself was weird though. The only thing that anybody actually did was grind or make out…. well, most people did anyway. My group danced on the side or in the back…. that or sat out cause the music was crap.

Anyway, today’s the day. When I get home, I’m coming out to my parents. Though, I’ve decided to not use the letter and just tell them. I’ve been feeling more confident about it lately, so I don’t think I have to worry about breaking down. And I actually have a place to stay if worse comes to worst, thank God for supportive cousins.

Anyway, wish me luck.

Alex

Today, I confirmed, again, that I am definitely not 100% anything.

In Health class, we split into groups based on gender. Needless to say, I sat with the boys. Now I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t. All they basically focused on was sex…. horny bastards.

A good thing that happened in class was that my teacher, before we started, pulled me aside and told me what we’d be doing today. She said that, if it made me feel uncomfortable, I didn’t have participate. I was really happy about the way she handled it too. That and the fact that no one questioned me about why I was sitting with the boys side, aside from my friend, though she said it more as  trying to understand, and she said she’d punch anyone who said anything bad about it.

I love my supportive friends, they make everything feel a little easier.